


Through the Eyes of a Son

by luckybeargirl



Series: Blue Eyes [2]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Gen, James T. Kirk (POV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 09:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/513908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckybeargirl/pseuds/luckybeargirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's POV of the events in 'Blue Eyes.'  It can be read as a stand alone but will flow better if you've read 'Blue Eyes.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day He Was Born

**Author's Note:**

> Each of the chapters in this story will correspond with a chapter of the same name in 'Blue Eyes.' 
> 
> The first chapter in 'Blue Eyes' takes place the day Jim was born. I found it impossible to write a newborn's POV so this chapter takes place on Jim's fifth birthday.

It was his special day! That’s what Sam said. Today Jimmy turned five and that was the best thing ever. Mommy would comm him today too. Last month on Sam’s special day she commed and talked to Sam for two whole hours. He couldn’t wait. Mommy had been in space for a long time and he missed her. He had so many thing to tell her. He sat down by the comm unit and pulled out some of his toys. He didn’t know when she would comm so he needed to stay close to the unit. He didn’t want to miss it. He waited and he waited and he waited. When he didn’t think he could stand it anymore he kept waiting. He couldn’t leave and risk missing Mommy. 

It was bedtime. His special day was over. Mommy didn’t comm like she did on Sam’s day. What happened? Did Mommy forget? How could Mommy forget his special day?  
He missed her. He was going to tell her that if she came home he would make sure not to make her sad anymore. Maybe she got attacked by space pirates? Yea, that must be it! Mommy got attacked by space pirates and that’s why she missed his special day. She would comm him tomorrow.

Winona Kirk does not comm home for another three weeks.


	2. The Day He Crashed The Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be busy tomorrow so I decided to post chapter 2 a little early. Please let me know what you think of it.

He didn’t regret it. No matter how many times Frank beat him he would never regret what he did to the car. He had had just a few moments of glorious freedom but it had been worth all of the pain he had been through in the last few weeks. That car belonged to his father and it was better that it was in a fiery heap at the bottom of the quarry than in some stranger’s possession. 

Ma was coming home today. Frank had commed her about the car and she had cut her mission short. Jim wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He wanted her to come home. He wanted her to come home and never leave him again, but he knew that was impossible. He was the reason that she went away. It didn’t matter what he did or how good he was Ma would get a strange look in her eyes sometimes and then she would get sad. It was like she was seeing someone else when she looked at him. She would go to space when it got really bad. He misses her but it’s his fault she goes away. Maybe if he doesn’t look at her she won’t be sad.

The minute she sees him Ma she pulls him into a tight hug and he has to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. Her hugs aren’t gentle and the beating Frank gave him the day before left his body really sore. She notices that something is wrong and Frank breaks the ‘why your sons are no good’ rant he’s on long enough to tell her that they’re from the crash. He wants to tell her the truth but he was given orders not to upset Ma and he was forbidden from crying to her about his punishments. Frank’s wrath will be swift and harsh if he says anything. 

The hardest part about their reunion is not looking at her. Jim wants to stare at her face and soak her in but he can’t, it will make her sad. He keeps away as much as he can. If he isn’t around then she can’t get sad and if she isn’t sad she won’t go to space. It’s a good plan. 

It’s been two months since she came home and despite his best efforts Ma’s getting sad again. He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong! Frank is getting mean too. There haven’t been anymore beatings but once Ma leaves they’ll probably start again. Sam’s restless and that is never a good thing. 

When he wakes up and realizes that Sam is gone his world falls apart. Everyone leaves him and he can’t figure out why. Frank is screaming, Ma is crying, and he is all alone. When Frank brings Sam home something ignites within him. It’s like when he took the car. The feeling of ‘must do something’ is overwhelming and the rush of rightness is overpowering. Frank pounds on Sam and Ma does nothing. She stands there watching and Jim wants to scream at her to help. He makes a split decision. He will not let Frank hurt them anymore. He’ll kill the bastard if he has too. The phaser feels perfect in his hand and Frank falls down just like he is suppose too. He looks to Ma to see what to do next but the expression on her face freezes him. She’s seeing someone else again and it’s worse than ever before. It hurts and he’s angry and if he doesn’t put the phaser down he might be tempted to shoot her. He flees and doesn’t look back. It’s days before he talks to her again. When they do speak it’s because she’s sending Sam and him away. Tarsus IV?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... Like it? Hate it? Suggestions? Let me know.


	3. The Day He Came Back From Tarsus IV

Jim Kirk stood in the kitchen of the farm house in Iowa and tried to remember how to breath. He was home (whatever that meant) but nothing would ever be the same. Sam was dead. He had watched him die and done nothing to save him. He was too weak. An empty feeling hallowed him out. It was painful and dark and he wanted to scream and scream until someone made everything better. It would never be better. 

He slowly moved around the room, opening cabinets and gathering food. He would eat some now and save some for later. He had learned the value of food on Tarsus IV and he would never forget it. 

A sound echoed in the entryway and Jim spun around. His hand moved to the knife hidden in his pants as he faced the new comer. Winona. He wasn’t sure how to deal with her just yet. She had spent half of the time he had been home trying (and failing) to speak to him. The other half she passed crying on her bed. He wondered how long it would be until she left for space again. The sooner the better. He didn’t want to have to put up with her for too long.

She reached out to stroke his cheek and he quickly batted her hand away. She was lucky he remembered to let go of the blade before he hit her. Her face crumpled and she seemed to shrink into herself. He waited to see if she would try anything again.

Emotions began to play across her face and Jim felt his stomach twist. Suddenly there was a distant look in her eyes that he had learn to recognize. She was thinking of George and she was seeing George in him. A fury that had not gripped him since he day he watched Frank beat his brother poured through him. Turning he ran from the house to seek peace. Winona didn’t follow and he was glad but as night swept in there was something deep inside of him that hurt. She was his mother, wasn’t she suppose to save him for the dark?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of chapter 3?

**Author's Note:**

> I know this chapter dosn't flow very well but I was trying to write from a five year olds POV. The next chapters flow much better and have more emotion in them. I promise. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think.


End file.
